Possibilities.

Yesterday, I learned a very heartfelt need to be with my good friend, A. She's expecting their first baby and was in tears all throughout the time we were on the phone. A scary possibility that she might get induced and terminate her pregnancy is looming. I don't understand the whole science of it, but the bottomline is, there is a chance she might not have the little angel grow in its full term due to the condition of the baby. He/she is not abnormal in it's standard (according to the test), but he/she might not be able to carry the stork due to the less fluid going into the baby - or something to that effect. A mom's yearn to hold, to cuddle and to nurture - all these just seemed to distant for A... and all I can do is listen... and to hear her talk about what ifs is just truly heartbreaking. :(

A ranted with how come some people just have everything easy? Her sadness is very apparent with the scary possibility of not having her first child delivered - or if ever he/she would develop to full term, A and her husband is dang scared of what could become of their first baby - could he/she have undeveloped lungs? Will he/she be able to walk, talk, smile, coo? For any first time parents - the paranoia is just imminent - especially if we're way past our prime.

So that led me to more questions... A is older than me by just a year. When I tie the knot this year, I am not sure if we will conceive right away. Do you plan for it? Does it just happen? Everyone I know would say - GO FOR IT while you still can. OMG - hearing my friend sob like a baby over long distance phone call, I had this nagging thought on my mind too... what if it's my turn??????? Will I also have problems conceiving too?

Then, to make top things off, my coworker K had a call last night from her son in MB saying that K's daughter in law might just be induced too. Truth of the matter was, the little angel is - for lack of a better term - 'defective' and because of some other complication for the mother. Geez...... At one point, my initial reaction was - oh no... poor baby... then, in a series of thought, why would the baby need to be induced? Is the chance of survival slim? I did not dare ask as K was almost sobbing too... And this happened today.

After much thought (and keeping it to myself), I began to ask - why is the baby going to be induced??? I don't know the whole story so I can't and I should not make any judgement. But, I think I heard the term 'might grow up to be mentally challenged' came in the picture. In other words, there's the pro choice vs pro life debate - but this time, it centered on something real - not just some silly hypothesis.

In their case, the couple decided, let go. If my memory serves me right, they are agnostics - maybe, even atheists. So, the choice was easy - well, hard/difficult/traumatic but easy nonetheless.

As someone who was raised by Franciscan friars, Paulinian sisters, and Jesuit friends, how will I make the choice if it happened to us? Truth be told, there's very few of these 'defective' babies I've seen in my stay here in Canada. I know some, but I wonder - were they from religous families? Why did they survive while others didn't?

Choose life is what we know. I hope I won't have to make that choice because I know that all babies are God's gifts - and because they're gifts - no matter what 'packaging' they come from, they have to be loved and accepted.

Lord, I pray for those people experiencing difficulties today. Families who wish for a glimpse of your beauty thru the soul of a baby - yet, some are in great stress not realizing what can come in the future or some, have made decisions that don't conform to what we know is moral. Lord, teach us to understand and accept, be enlightened and most of all, provide strength to these families who need your guidance and love at this very unstable times. Amen.