Patience is a virtue.

Unfortunately, it's not my strongest one. I get bored easily and I need mental stimulation. I am busy with wedding stuff but I get haunted a lot of times with the things-after like, work... I blogged on this before and I am seriously getting some freakish nightmares because I know I need to something else - as this place has definitely become a big comfort zone for me.

Ana (hi girl!) was also in the same boat - and probably, a lot of other folks out there wondering what their purpose in life should be. Am I just being idealistic? My workplace is not bad, actually but see, I'm used to a very fast paced work environment. Where I am, is not. Too dang slow for me, actually... Some people would like this kind of environment, I'm sure - but me, I'm so dang bored!!!!!!!!

I remember when I was in P&G, everyday is hopping. FGD here, commercial viewing/analysis there, interview with some promo girls, budget tracking... in Ayala, we do a lot of think tank activities - developing and collapsing that Pharmacy in AHCI, developing that new HELP plan, facilitating group discussions, team-building, talking to hotel reps for our next event, attending gala and hobnobbing with some celebs (I used to handle ABS-CBN accounts) and even explaining group provisions to that Lucie Torres' husband of hers! (to name a few). Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - now, I had to contend with repeated answers to some wannabe medical professional who don't understand English.

And sorry for English speaking visitors but I just had to switch to my vernacular.

Mas malala, napunta ako sa isang boba (at talaga naman saksakan!) na naka-tataas na walang alam kundi magbulakbol - hanggang sa hindi na maintindihan kung ano ang dapat unahin sa mga proyekto. Grabe sa pagmamaganda - minsan, iniisip ko, puro pang patay oras lang ang ginagawa nila - pano ba naman matatapos ang dapat na isumite na trabaho????????????

Mega counterproductive. Busy bodies. Kiss-ass-ers, juice ko, pila pila sila!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh... kasi naman, magpapakasal na ako kaya di tuloy ako makalayas dito - kahit ibang departamento lang... dun sa mga taong talagang nagta trabaho - at hindi dun sa mga nagmamaganda lang.

I remember my good friend, "I". He's one of the more sought-after tv persons now in Manila. He, who is like a dear little brother to me then, confided to me that he's leaving Ayala - because he thought, he'd do something he wanted to do. News reporting (ok, this is a bigtime giveaway, haha) - but at a big nosedive in salary cut. I asked him, what's important to you? He was 23 I think then. Very young and eager and full of ambition. We talked because he was scared that he's giving up comfy ergonomic chairs, the yuppie image, his spotless workstation - but most of all, he's taking a 50% paycut. Will he survive? The answer, as we say, is history. He chose the road less travelled and is reaping a very bountiful harvest.

Now, that's the thing. With "I", it's pretty clear cut while with my situation, it becomes a lot more complicated because there are tons of considerations that I have to weigh in. So much to think about, so little time. If only I'd have a crack with Human Resources again or at the very least, get me some project that can make me think!!!!!

In the meantime, I'd suck it up - but I'm really hoping that something comes my way to be able to flex my mental faculties and feel alive (at work) again.